I recently read a book titled “Does This Book Make Me Look Fat? Stories about loving- and loathing- your body” edited by Marissa Walsh, and written by many different authors. In fact, the entire book is a collection of stories from different people who have gone through struggles with the way their body looked and how they dealt with it. Some of the stories I loved, and some I hated.  Some are filled with comedy while others are extremely sad. The great thing about this book is that it really helped me understand what people with certain body image issues are going through.

The very beginning of the book starts with a statistic that states that about 90% of all women worldwide ages 15-64 want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance- body weight ranking the highest (Walsh, 2). The stories compiled in this book tell of struggles with many body image issues including: feeling self conscious about being overweight, anorexia and other eating disorders, hating the size of their rear-end, and even stories about being uncomfortable with bust size. It has such a wide variety of things that these women have struggled with throughout their lives.

In all honesty, I wouldn’t recommend this book to researchers or practitioners who are trying to help people cope with some of these problems; it’s really not very research based.  However, I would recommend it to parents of teens that may be struggling with some of these issues, and even to the teens themselves. It might help parents understand what their children are going through, and it would definitely help the teens feel like they weren’t so alone in their problems; that there are other people out there who have dealt with the same things.

One great lesson that I got out of the book was to never judge anyone else based on appearances. Many of these women developed their insecurities because of a judgment that someone else made about them. There’s really never a good reason to make someone else feel bad about themselves, and there’s certainly never a good reason to make someone feel bad about something that is completely beyond their own control.  We really have no idea what struggles other people are going through and let’s be honest, we’re all plenty self-conscious without the help of anybody else.

My very favorite quote from the entire book comes from right inside the front cover. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye” – Miss Piggy (disclaimer: I do not actually want to promote giving anyone a black eye).

Reference:

Walsh, M. (2). Take another look. In M. Walsh ,Does This Book Make Me Look Fat?: Stories About Loving and Loathing your Body (p. 2). New York: Harcourt Publishing Company.

Reader's Question

Hey fellow bloggers!

Monica, one of our followers had a question that I was very curious to know as well. She asked, "I'm curious as to if there's any research on the new beauty campaigns such as the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, that are trying to promote feeling beautiful in your own body. Are those have any effect to counter the traditional media? How has this impacted women's perceptions of themselves?"

These are a great set of questions, seriously. For those of you all who are not aware of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty with the video that had real sketches of women that was going viral for a while on Facebook, I felt as though this video had a very powerful, underlying message. It is also very well known that women already have a very HIGH standard of what they should look like, but how often is this reality? Here, I'll let you all see for yourself.

http://realbeautysketches.dove.us 

This should open your eyes to a new horizon. Make sure to read the little prologue to this video at the top of the website, it's worth it.

So, after watching this video, if you are a woman, how do you feel? Can you relate to this video even to the slightest bit? If your a man, how do you think a woman you are close to such as a sister, mom, friend, or coworker feels everytime you talk about the "hottest girl ever" on the newest magazine in the grocery store and how perfect her body is. Women, comparison is the thief of joy. I learned that this was so true because I myself even had an issue with constantly being my very worst critic and never knowing how to be grateful and praise myself for the good things about me. It wasn't until just a few weeks ago, I got to start talking to some older friends and family members that I have always looked up to and went to them for some advice. I also found some things to occupy my time in a different way. In a positive way. I began to start reading more books about how to live your life in a positive way and what to do when you are struggling with self confidence.

As far as research goes for the specific Dove Campaign, they used the Action Assembly Theory which basically means that in order to understand behavior you have to first understand how people think. This theory seeks to understand human behavior through their mental process. There are three main factors of attaining full knowledge of this: congitive structure, content, and cognitive process (Greene, 1989). Dove has been notoriously known to promote the natural beauty in ALL women. Of course, the ladies that are in the video above aren't super models or by any means the most perfect people in the whole world, but their imperfections make each and every individual perfect. This video towards the end once the reveal happens, all of the women come to the realization and conclusion that it's okay to finally accept yourself for who you are.

Greene, J. (1989). Action assembly theory. (Master's thesis), Available from McGraw-Hill. Retrieved from http://highered.mcgraw-hill.com/sites/dl/free/0073385026/228359/action.pdf

Stacie asked the question: What suggestions do you have for parents raising daughters today, when everything is airbrushed and it is advertised that being perfect is possible.. you see it... it has to be real! And it is believable, right? Part of what I’m wondering is how to teach loving yourself in just the way you are created, when teenagers today are exposed to so much?

Stacie, thank you, great question! Oh man, where to begin?! Let’s start by talking with your kids.  Make sure that they understand that much of what the media is portraying is unrealistic and often extremely edited.  Parents also need to set an example for their children. If teenage Suzie is constantly watching her mom obsess about her own body image (how many calories she’s eating, spending obscene amounts of money shopping for clothes, spending hours putting on make-up and doing her hair, etc.), Suzie is probably going to end up with many of the same habits and concerns about her own image as her mom. For the record, I’m a big advocate of taking care of your body… having good hygiene, looking nice, exercising, all that jazz. With that being said, I do think that we, as a society, tend to take it a bit too far.

Parents should do what they can to instill healthy habits in their teenagers. Keep healthy foods around the house, prepare healthy meals, plan activities to exercise together as a family, things along these lines. In fact, according to one study, helping your teen to develop healthy eating habits can be beneficial in more than one way. The book titled I’m, like, SO fat!: Helping your Teen Make Healthy Choices about Eating and Exercise in a weight obsessed world talks about a study with which they discovered the following: “In our society, dieting is so common as to seem normal. But that doesn’t mean it’s harmless, particularly in children and teens. For some teens, the feelings of hunger and deprivation that often accompany dieting often lead to binge eating and, somewhat ironically, to weight gain” (Neumark-Sztainer, 2005). Clearly, this isn’t going to help any teen feel better about herself.

Honestly, it’s inevitable that our teens will sometimes feel self-conscious.  Heck, even before all of the editing and retouching that we are able to do now, teens felt awkward and insecure about the way they looked. As parents I think that it is important to teach healthy habits, teach proper hygiene, and talk to your teens about the unrealistic supermodels that they are seeing. In my opinion, one of the very best things that you can teach your teen is that the way that they look DOES NOT define who they are as a person. Yes, I do think that it is important to teach them to look presentable and nice. They just need to know that they are valued for something other than the way they look. Make sure that your teens know that they are loved and cared about even on the days that they might be feeling self-conscious about their weight, or about the zit that just showed up on their chin. Just let them know that they are loved and eventually, they will hopefully learn to love themselves.

References:

Neumark-Sztainer, D. (2005). I'm, like, so fat!: Helping your teen make healthy choices about eating and exercise in a weight-obsessed world. (p. 10). New York: Guilford Press. Retrieved from http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=HqB71qmG5tYC&oi=fnd&pg=PP2&dq=Parenting teens with eating disorders&ots=2IuzmgBFCi&sig=8557hrKDZl5Ao7XE6s8rIKpwe3A

Reader Question:

What suggestions do you have for parents raising daughters today, when everything is airbrushed and advertised that being perfect is possible,....you see it...it has to be real! and it is believable...right?

Part of what I am wondering is how to teach loving yourself in just the way you are created when teenagers today are exposed to so much?

That question is a hard one to answer. I think that some of the best things that mothers can do is watching what they say about themselves in front of their children(especially their daughters).  All I know is that from my personal experience my Mom was a great example to me.  She never complained about her weight, and I NEVER heard her talk negatively about her body. She ate healthy and exercised, but she also ate treats every now and then :) I saw how she treated her body and I patterned my life after her.  I'm sure she wasn't always happy with her body but she never showed it.  I think that because of that I grew up having a very positive view of my body.  Don't ever call yourself fat, or skinny, don't joke about it excessively, and always talk positive!!

Today I saw this quote on Instagram @beauty_redefined

I read in a research article Parenting and the child's world; Influences on academic, intellectual, and social-emotional development  I read that parents are the strongest influences in their child's lives (Borkowski, 2001). I feel like most parents don't fully realize this.  I also feel like when your child is a teenager this can be more true than we sometimes like to think it is. I don't have teenagers so I don't know how to suggest you teach them. But from what I have observed with friends, and family, teenagers learn more from watching what we say and do than from what we tell them to say and do.  

Borkowski JG, Ramey SL, & Bristol-Power M, Parenting and the child's world; Influences on academic, intellectual, and social-emotional development. Mahwah, NJ: Psychology Press, 2001.

But Who? & Why?

When the term ‘eating disorder’ is announced, it’s safe to say that the majority of the audience are automatically linking the term, categorizing it with females more so than males. Thus, causing a problem in terms of attentiveness to the subject of male eating disorders and it’s increasing growth. People need to be more aware overall of male eating disorders. The level of awareness compared to the ratio of the rising level of male eating disorders is not balanced.

            Interestingly enough, not only do people and their surroundings refine what his/her thought is of him/herself, but the demographics can as well. Every 1 in 25 males in England reported to being anorexic (Maine, 2001). In the sense of the fashion realm London, England is a fashion capital. The bar for social standards is set high because of that, making the reason to look a certain way justified in the fashion society. However, it doesn’t make the act of extreme diet restrictions just. Males in London, many of which are part of the homosexual community, especially feel it is almost as if their life depends on the way that one looks because of the aura that the fashion world puts off. Homosexuality and it’s relevance to appeal eating disorders as an easier way to fit in with the mainstream. 

The average idea of an eating disorder usually is associated with mainstream disorders. In fact, many go unnoticed because the categorization has such a narrow path. Many times, it only allows a select few of disorders and the population that account for it. PhD Ousley, PhD Cordero, and MA White demonstrates the comparison of males and females that had eating disorders. The outcome of the test show the men who were diagnosed with an eating disorder weren’t projected just towards the desire to lose weight, but having a more masculine shape (Ousley et al., 2008). Ousley’s observation verify the idea that these males are influenced by media and exposure athletes that are exalted as superior because of their bodily figure. Geographic factors also place a role in the minds of males that reside in. 20,000 random participants conducted in an experiment that was in Southern California at a university located on the beach, where levels of eating patterns and body dissatisfaction in both men and women may be elevated as a result of the environment and lifestyle of students who live in warm climates (Ousley et al., 2008). This is one of the many factors when it comes to male eating disorders.

Maine, M. (2001). Altering Women’s Relationship with Food: A Relational,            Developmental Approach. Journal of Clinical Psychology in Session, 57, 1301-1310.      Academic Search Premier. Web 31 Oct. 2011.

 “Most say Homosexuality Should Be Accepted by Society.”Pew Research Center for the People            & the Press. 13 May 2011. Pew Research Center. Web. 

Ousley, Louise, Elizabeth Diane Cordero, and Sabina White. "Eating Disorders and Body Image

            of Undergraduate Men." Journal of American College Health 56.6 (2008): 617-622.           Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 

Why is body image such a big deal in our society? In my opinion, in order to produce awareness about the need for positive body image, we need to raise awareness about the sources of negative body image. So, where is it coming from? Basically anything that gives our society unrealistic expectations for men or women generates negative body image in some way.

Some of the things that came to mind are…

-Media (T.V., movies, magazines, websites, etc.)

-Televised advertisements (make-up, hair products, clothing, underwear, etc.)

-Billboard advertisements

-Pornography

-Children’s toys (dolls)

The list goes on and on, but you get the idea. We are constantly being bombarded by expectations that are nearly (if not completely) impossible to achieve. So what do we do about it? Well, if more companies would try to raise awareness like Dove does in this clip, it would make a huge difference! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk  ß Check it out. Totally worth a watch!

An article that was published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence, states that their research found the following: “In Western cultures, girls' self-esteem declines substantially during middle adolescence, with changes in body image proposed as a possible explanation. Body image develops in the context of sociocultural factors, such as unrealistic media images of female beauty. In a study of 136 U.K. girls aged 11–16, experimental exposure to either ultra-thin or average-size magazine models lowered body satisfaction and, consequently, self-esteem”. Obviously our society is having a negative effect on the way that girls (specifically pre-teens through young adults) view themselves. It’s a disturbing trend that doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon.

There is a HUGE need to educate parents about the pressures that are being put on their daughters. Although it may not solve all of the problems, it can at least make the parents aware of the situation, and help them find ways to boost their daughters’ self-esteem. In my opinion, there is also a huge need to educate parents about how to talk to their son about the unrealistic expectations for women. Young men need to know that all different shapes, sizes, and looks can be beautiful. Boys also need to know that they can’t expect girls to look like the swimsuit model staring at them from the billboard as they drive down the freeway.

I think it’s safe to say that every single one of us could use a self-esteem boost when it comes to some part of our looks. However, if we start by boosting the confidence of the young people in our society, who are in the most emotionally vulnerable time of life, I think we can make a big difference.

References:

Clay, D., Vignoles, V., & Dittmar, H. (2005). Body image and self-esteem among adolescent girls: Testing the influence of sociocultural factors. Journal on Research of Adolescents, 15(4), 451-477.

How Do I Love My Body?

We have all had times when we saw someone else and thought "She looks so much better than I do. can't I just be her?" I admit that I have thought this.  I'm sure all of us have as well. To truly love ourselves we need to be able to see ourselves and our bodies for what we are.  If you aren't happy with yourself then you usually aren't happy with much in your life.  How you feel about yourself affects how you interact with others, how you perceive the world around you, your confidence and your ability to contribute to the world.  When we feel poorly about ourselves we tend to turn inward and aren't as willing to put ourselves out there.  I have felt this way, as I am sure that we all have.  I have always wondered how I can change this mental attitude.  How can I change the way I feel about myself and what can I do to improve my personal thoughts and feelings.  On the website Redefining Beauty, I read a quote that I find very helpful. It states that: 

"Learning to love your body can be a difficult process for many women who have believed their whole lives they are worthless or abnormal because they don’t live up to physical ideals upheld  as normal and attainable in our profit-driven culture. We want you to know it is not an impossible feat, and the process is incredibly rewarding. One of the easiest and best things you can do for your body image right now is to consider the ways your body is amazing. Appreciate what it has allowed you to do, regardless of your abilities or health status, and acknowledge your strengths and gifts."(www.beautyredefined.net/loving-your-body-101/)

I have found that by doing this it really works!!  I have thought of the many amazing things that my body can do, the things it has allowed me to do, and all that it will allow me to do. Our bodies are truly remarkable. I urge you to make a list, you will be amazed at the things that you think of and write down.  It will truly help you to see yourself as a beautiful person and give you the confidence to step outside of yourself and make a difference.  I have seen this in my life and I hope that you will be able to as well.

Beauty Redefined. (2014, Feb 12). Loving Your Body 101:The 3 Questions of Positive Body Image. Retrieved from www.beautyredefined.net/loving-your-body-101/